I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive.
-- Gilda Radner

If your dog doesn't like someone you probably shouldn't either.
-- Author Unknown

I love toys. Not sex toys (though those do rock), but regular kid toys. They're fun. Video games are neat, some dolls are pretty...some cool...bikes sure have come a long way from my banana seat Huffy...it's just GREAT to be an adult, take MYSELF to the toy store when I want to, and get cool shit to play with.

I love tinkering with the toys at toy stores and having my daughter give the me "You usually say 'don't touch'" confused look as I push Spike the Dinosaur's button (he eats rocks!), or I figure out how to do science with the Kinex stuff (they wouldn't leave it on a table if you weren't supposed to monkey with it!)....

For as much fun as evil mega ToysRUs is, the SMALL toy stores really ROCK! They carry the "high end"' fun stuff that, yes, is pricier, but way cool.

Daughter is into weird. Her Dad bought her a sushi set many moons ago. I have wished that set up his ASS on more than one occasion (many, many, MANY small parts)...but it is SO COOL...and every now and then, she pulls it out of the toy rotation, and we're having wooden food parties. You go Sticky rice!!!

We haven't had REAL sushi in a while as I can't take the Japanese surly, cold, aloofness. I have a problem with Asian food in general with this. I'm far too Southern Hospitality a chick...and I'm a YANKEE!

This year I want a gift certificate to the toy store. I can buy myself some fun. Do I have to SHARE????

The sea waves rolled over rocky outcrops
to where the little gull had her nest.

It was a simple dwelling where one day
she lined a great heave of a washed-up tree
with odd bits of marsh grass and the
rushes that grow in brackish tides.

Eggs gleamed in the sun-
oval and shiny, their calcium shells firm under
mother's soft webbed feet.

Three eggs there were until for no reason
as if God had abandoned his fledglings
all were eaten by the tide and tossed
like kelp and otter-playthings until not
even their unyielding nature could contain
yolk or albumin.

The gull sat in her nest- she pushed the shells with her
beak
knowing all the while that her children were gone.
That they had left her alone with bird thoughts
of motherhood.

Never would she feed them their first meal
or preen their newly hatched feathers.

Nor would she ever hold her hopes up for them
to learn to fly and to soar.

Sigmund Freud.  No other (wo)man in the history of psychology (save for James) brings up so much attention or controversy.  People who have never read one of his books, taken a formal psychology class, or read a Greek classic can probably tell you about the ego, and maybe the Oedipus Complex.  

In psychology 101 (102, too) I was barraged by the guy- defense mechanisms, the id/ego/super ego, his renegade proteges Horney and Jung...and then by the time I got to feminist psychology (yes, there is such a class)  we read a lot of Carol Gillian and other Harvard researchers with works like In a Different Voice and Multiple Intelligences (Howard Gardner, but he too is Harvard) all that Freud-worship was destroyed when his comment as to women being "the dark continent" were seen as sexist and it was pointed out that Freud killed a friend of his by prescribing cocaine (not to mention living an Eric Clapton song himself!).

Of course, if one held out until therapy or systems classes (upper level/graduate) she'd find that again Freud was the star...until the Humanists came in and wiped out all the thoughts of something being "wrong'"with people and replaced them with Stuart Smalley visions of "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and Gosh Darn it- people like me!"  bullshit affirmations (this movement also brought us more buzzwords such as "closure" and "issue").

I like Horney- as in Karen, one of Freud's renegades, as she had a great idea with Relations Theory, and I also like Jung and his hippie-New Age (way before there were hippies or New Agers- I take that back...Mr. Abbey of Thelema was around -Google it!)- with his Anima and dream archetypes...but I have always come back to a nice, basic understanding of people based on Freud.

This after hours on personality theories, developmental paradigms, and years of theraputic approaches!

Lately I've been thinking about Freud as to a twist on his Oedipus/Electra complexes, especially in the context of how this affects "Daddy's Girls" who dislike their mothers into adulthood.

Ye olde n of 1 (Sample size of 1) can not be extrapolated to the general population, but I have a problem with this statistical approach to psychology.  The Scientific method has been proven imperfect...and yet to gain "acceptance" in the psychological community hold on to the idea of grand samples, extrapolation to the masses, and this will lead to acceptance.  Sorry, but biochemists and astrophysicists aren't hot on the CHI-SQUARE, so let it go...BUT there is a LOT to be learned by going back to the Freudian model and measuring the purple pony, the green cow, or the BLACK SWAN as it is called.  The oddball.  The curve breaker.

Anyway, what made me think about this was my maternal grandmother's passing and my relationship with my own mother:  let's just say the mother is not a warm fuzzy, she has her issues, in fact she's schizophrenic, and oft times she and I get along like oil and vinegar...

But what I was thinking about is while Freud posited  that young children want to kill their same sex parent in order to marry their opposite sex parent, does this not still stay true on a level as an adult? 

The oldest woman in a family-group is the matriarch.  Doesn't the child who grows up to be a wife and mother resent this interloping elder whom she had intrapsychic conflict with since she was a child?  Surely not to marry father but to pass on the 'torch" of skill, ability, and womanhood?  Ergo, POWER.

The same could be said of women with Mother-in-laws.  Mother is a boy's first love.  On a level doesn't a woman resent this fact and transfer a lot of her hostility onto her Mother-in-law?  Husband is the father she CAN have, Mother-in-Law was his "ex", and as woman now has Dad and husband (in one) doesn't she then wish that old biddy out of the picture too?

This assumes a "Daddy's girl" relationship existed as a child (WITHOUT IMPROPRIETY!) , there was maternal hostility (mother to child because she knew Dad loved daughter a lot?), and then a complete separation, forming a new house, children born, and a subservient matriarchy created.

However, now I have to take full advantage of daylight savings and WASTE my newly found hour!

I have been married for 10 years.  No, not 5 two year marriages, but one 10 year jobber.  In fact we just celebrated our 10th anniversary.   I also just celebrated my 34th birthday.  For both of these my husband gave me great gifts (he always does)- some really cool tiger eye earrings (birthday) and a diamond necklace (anniversary). 

Today, 10/24, he gave me a "late" gift...a lap top!  Yahoo!  I feel so FREE!  I've NEVER had my own computer beore!  And it's MINE all MINE.  He GAVE it to me.  New.  I got to open the box.  I got to smell it's new freshness!  I got to peel all the protective tape that reeked of long chained polymer off the unit.  Now I get to GEEK!!!!

In fairness, for his anniversary I too gave him a "late gift" when I told him he was going to be a Dad again...so, I think we both had the BEST anniversary ever.

He might be a major pain in my ass, he complains about stuff I let go (and vice versa), and there have been times were it not for laws prohibiting certain acts (tying someone down and tickling them until they piss their pants is assault- believe it or NOT!) I would have done them (that's what rubber sheets are for)...but I can't imagine my life without him as I do honestly and truly love the man.  Foibles and all.

Thank you Sweetie- it is honestly the coolest gift I've ever gotten.  It rocks!

Thank you so much!!!   I love you!!!!

I know how you WANT me to say thank you...but I'm not going to "Adult Contenting" this.  Wink...

Face Book SEEMED like a good idea- my friends and family are there,  I can email them, see their pictures, read their rants....

And that's exactly why I'm killing my account.

See, I don't LIKE knowing THIS much about some of them.  I have a cousin so stupid she can't tell her own Aunt (Our Aunt) in a picture she (the cousin) posted- when I told her "DUH!  That's our Aunt!"  she got bitchy.  Supreme Lord and master of the Family Photo Album....Granny goes in Hospice Care and she's picking shit out of Granny's apartment before she's even cold.  Get a grip you nasty girl.

Some people in my family say I have a "bad attitude"- I say Fuck 'em!

Then there's the WAYYYY TOOO  MUCHHH INFORMATION aspect of Face Book.  Someone actually took a "What sexual position test are you" quiz and sent me the results.  No, not my husband (for which the test might have been an amusing thing), someone I almost barely know who is on my "friends" list as we have some nominal mutual friend (by the way, she doesn't like it Cowgirl style.  Hey, I have to suffer knowing that- now you do too!).

It's also odd to see people I knew when I was 12 or 15 or 25 or 30 pop up out of the blue (I'm married with a new last name...how did these wankers FIND me!) and want to be added to my friend's page.  I always add 'em as what the hell- they can't be any dumber than my blond cousin!

Not that ALL of it is bad:  My husband found his newest passion there (Maffia Wars), and while Farmville does rock (I own a black sheep!), I can't take the posts anymore...not that you can post much.  It's kept to the lowest common denominator's level:  100 characters a post.

While I'll miss the funny people (all two of ya!), the other 20 negate the equation to such a large degree it's funny...just not funny "ha ha"...

On that note, that's my birthday resolution.  I'm going to follow my new mantra:

I can only please one person a day- Today I choose ME!!!!!!!!!!!!


Happy, Happy, HAPPY Birthday to me!!!

Ah, autumn in New England.  That time of year when our deciduous trees begin to retire as they face a long, cold winter, and if they kept their leaves they would be discontented to learn that the whole cold/frozen leaf/photosynthesis does not, alas, make the plant cell equivalent of a frozen chlorophyll margarita, it just makes for death...

It is a picturesque time when the birches- thin, white, elongated, drop their golden leaves.  When the oak first leaves acorns for the squirrels (and humans!) and then its yellow-brown leaves.  And, lastly, when the maples turn a flaming red- making Maureen O'Hara's hair seem colorless by comparison...

It's also the time of year that those of us who live and breathe up here all year long have to deal with TOURISTS!

Bus loads of AARPrs and their paper-label name tags proudly announcing Olive from PA.  The short-bus kids get a day out- but with it being a busy day no one helps them pick out "going out" clothes so they end up looking like Benny from that 70's Elton John song...

They crowd the roads (hint to all tourists:  The approaching cold does not stop our DOT workers from starting projects.  They are union and they'll work on the roads year round for your traveling inconvenience), the stores (tip:  Don;t block the friggen isles to gawk at the Genuine Weather Stick), the restrooms (I have a 5 year old.  Nuff Said)...

And annoying though THEY may be (You go Olive!  Mohegan Sun will love you too!), the RETAILORS are really, really, REALLY damn odious.

Yankee Candle Visit Saturday:  Store was packed.  They USED TO have 4 sets of registers in that store:  "Front" near where the train goes (now candy), Side (old entrance), Toys (near the rear doors), and Back (housewares).  Now there are 2- Side and Back.  With 4 registers open, the Side line was past the Skinnerian maze rope, past the Spooky stuff, and out into the pick-your-overly-priced-used-to-get-18-now-only-12 votives.  The Back was wound past its maze of ropes and into the bird feeders.  Nice one Yankee Candle:  I have been going there since I was a little girl and my Grandmother used to take me...when you were a PISS ASS operation in SPRINGFIELD in an old FACTORY without FANCY labels or 1000 useless scents.  You know, when the guy who started it still owned it- before it was sold to a foreign interest who only gives a shit about "pretty" and "profit" and how nice "Pretty Profit" sounds together.

Solution:  I went about 2 miles down the road to New England Candle where ALL candles were buy 1 get 1 half-off.  Oh, there was NO line, the lady at the counter was NICE, and the bathroom didn't smell like pee.

Basketville Visit Saturday:  You know, why do you pull the sale baskets out of the store and tuck them into a tiny tent across the street.  Again, I've been coming to shop with you since I was tiny, when you actually had a factory that employed Americans, and you didn't glut the market with your China-import baskets (Thank you Richard Nixon!).  I just read the founder passed away...the second floor is usually sale stuff and furniture...no go this time.  I like the Keurig, but you sell micodial tea.  Yes, tea made from VT 'shrooms.  Ancient Chinese Kung-Foo medicine:  If it doesn't kick your ass, you have enough hutzpah to actually live...you tough old bastard!

The retailers are NOT your leaf-peeping friend!  When we hit Keene, NH or Putney, VT or any of our other stops any other time of year...we hit GREAT deals!  No go this time.

Our plan is to to avoid anything further North until late October/November as by then the retailers have calmed down, the sale stuff is back, the roads are quiet, and all Olive will be back off the bus and safely at home...

Shout out to the douche bag in the red car WITH KIDS AND A CHICK IN THE CAR who wasn't happy with how fast I was going in the HOV lane so he crossed the dipped barrier on I-91 N to join regular traffic.  When the Fjord travel bus wasn't fast enough for him he popped BACK into the HOV lane across the dipped drainage thing AGAIN.  I hope you picked up some road detritous you scum bag.  Go back to Jersey, you friggen idiot, and take your kids out of the car.  If you drive like THAT, I can only imagine what you'd be like to work with!

Another shout out to all the Masshole drivers who go to VT- the State Troopers don't have RADAR..they have MASSHOLDAR.  There's no need to clock your speed, to a ONE all the MA plate-holders I saw drive in VT were speeding, passing like they were weaving fabric, and just wanted to use that no-fault insurance of theirs.  May a moose disabuse you of your driving skills, you morons.  Vermonters don't want Wal-mart...they certainly don't want YOU!!!!!


Ah, for my quiet rides in the snow...

How are survivalist preppers and peppers a lot alike?

Once you cut through the outer layer, the inside is pretty hollow.

Last Saturday the husband talked me into going to a prepper-meeting up in Savoy, MA. 

Do you want the good news first?

Sorry- No Good News. 

I have Bad news and weather...

Aw, now I'm on a roll and you'll have to WORK for the weather...

The people were nice enough to host this.  I appreciate that.  However, for a bunch of people scared Big Brother is going to institute a bank holiday, that the Mexico/US/Canada currency will next be out method of currency, grain will become scarce, an epic disaster of Wag-the-Dog is unavoidable....do you know how they keep an ear to the ground?  By watching the news channels- Fox, CNBC, etc.

Wait a minute, if you're afraid of "The Man" why watch what the "man" controlled media wants you to know.  Wouldn't you be smarter than that?

Bank Holiday?  Millionaires make millions on the fractions of a percent that the banks generate.  A bank holiday would hurt them...and they finance campaigns (Dodd, I'm looking at you...I hope a certain CEO chick from the shoreline boots your ass back to Ireland you old coot!).

We're in a fiat system anyway...it's a way cool real-life monopoly game.  I want Park Place and Boardwalk, but I'm more like Baltic Avenue.

The woman who organizes this is now "closing" it to new members.  I think she's hit her maximum level of paranoid.  Congratulations!  You're now afraid and fear is the ultimate control device!

She also mylar packs pasta.  Pasta breaks down over time.  Why not store wheat/wheat berries and MAKE you're own.  Oh, I forgot, she's an organic survivalist prepper who smokes like a chimney (give the man that tax money, girl!) and admits her cooking skills are nil.  Um...if the shit hit the fan you know Chili's pull-up service won't be running.

Anyway, it was a nice day out, the ride was nice, my poor daughter had to play with a ROTTEN 4 year old who actually left BRUISES on her (she kept knocking my kid down.  Daughter is home schooled and does NOT play like that.  Other girl kept calling her "Dummy" and "Stupid" and daughter kept looking at me.  Finally I said "Don't play with her- she's naughty")...yes, that's a PUBLIC SCHOOL KID.  I LOVE what they teach them these days...

My advice:  Use common sense.  If you want a good laugh, go to a prepper meeting...they're LOADS of fun for people watching...

Last month I was out-of-pocket as I had food poisoning, and as anyone who has had it knows, it knocks you OUT.  BUT, on the PLUS side, you get a LOT of good drugs...and they let you have sleep.  Glorious sleep...

Fast forward to real life, a month later, faculties restored (more or less), and I CAN'T ALWAYS SLEEP!

At first I thought it was the husband- he is a secret cuddler...but no, he's been a siesta frijole on his own side of the Queen-Size.

Then I thought I had an attack cat:  Kinda like the guy in Catch 22 who gets suffocated...but no.  Even the felines were respecting my person (my pillows, no).

Was it a street light?  A neighbor leaving at 3:30 am?  Undigested beef? An errant spirit trying to contact me from the great beyond (perhaps to reveal a hidden treasure in the backyard????!!!?)...

It was my 5 year old.

And here I was thinking my sleepless nights were over!

Every morning like clockwork she gets up to use the bathroom...@ 3:30 am.  It's not her getting up, opening the bathroom door, using the bathroom, or flushing that wakes me up...it's the rather distinctive "CLICK" sound that her doorknob makes when she CLOSES the door...it wakes me up every time.

I tried having her use the bathroom before bed...she still got up.  Limit what she drinks.  She cuts herself off by 7pm, so that wasn't worth trying...

Then I realized two things:  1) I was very proud of her for getting up each and every time to pee (instead of using the bed like a puppy uses papers), and 2) I was WRONG.  When you are a parent your sleepless nights NEVER end.

When she was little my husband was on active duty (training) and it was just the two of us...and I worked full time.  I think it was then I got into the habit of always keeping an ear out for her- I didn't have a choice, I was the de facto sole caregiver.  My husband can still sleep through her waking up hurling, sick, using the bathroom...all she has to do is SNEEZE the wrong way and I know it...

Of course I can do this with all the pets, too.  I know when things aren't "right"...and I can tell with the husband too when he's a little askew.  A gift?  No, I really think it just comes from who gets to take care of everyone?  Well, sometimes an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure, and maybe somewhere in the reptile part of my brain I figure if I catch stuff early enough, use my detective skills, and ferret out potential problems (address health issues) with enough advanced warning I can prevent a collapse (full-blown cold, allergy, etc.).

At least I HOPE so...

As for sleep...the AC is staying on (fan anyway), as now that I know the daughter can Ace the overnight herself, I can get some shut eye.

And on that note, a cocktail never hurt...

My husband SWORE he would NEVER get on Face Book.  No intellectual integrity...no scholarly applications...no value...no merit...no...

That is until he found out that the Mafia Wars on Face Book ROCKS (compared to Yahoo's), and that everyone (and their brother, sister, etc.) is on the damn thing...

He just spent the last 6 hours playing MW and has just discovered the other games...

I could see playing D&D.  Chess- okay.  Hell, a rousing game of croquet will at least get your ass out in the yard.  But Mafia Wars???

That's what I get for marrying a guy from New York whose last name ends in a vowel! 

Today the daughter has a cold/bug/stomach thing she caught from the rotten little brats she was playing with on Sunday (at her Auntie's wedding).  I knew it was unnatural to have small children in closed quarters...and of course she caught their foul germs...

But she's not so sick she forgot her chores- she wanted chickens and she's been very, VERY good about taking care of them.  Her favorite ( large Buff Orp named Henrietta) now completely tolerates being picked up and carted around by awkward 5 year old hands.  Don't hug a chicken- they WILL poop on you.

Chickens are less messy than parakeets- we have 2 (Tweetie and Little Wing) and I feel as if all  do is vacuum bird feathers.  Coop care?  No problem!  Every three days or so rake up the shavings, pick 'em up with the coal shovel, dump 'em (bag 'em or compost 'em), spread new shavings.  And the chickens deliver eggs- foodstuffs always make the work worth it.  But the parakeets?  They squawk when the dogs bark (which is whenever someone comes, goes, or the mood suits them.  As the old saying goes "The first dog barks at something- the rest all bark at him"); they SCREAM when the phone rings (these are NOT Sun Conures and should NOT do this!); and they can also ring like said phone.  THAT'S annoying...

As for pet care, the daughter is not so good about latching rabbit hutches- I can always tell when her little fingers have been at the bun-buns as she has a knack for completely twisting the loops around and leaving the latch a-dangling.  Rabbits never go far- years ago we had a rabbit (presumably) fall out of his cage and he spent the night rooting for forage under said cage:  They are den animals and won't leave Home Sweet Home.  Unlike Dorothy, they hang out ONLY in Kansas.

I attempted to breed two of my Holland Lops today- I don't like to breed early in the year as the babies suffer in the heat, and I don't like waiting any later than the first few weeks of September as the babies will get too cold.  Unfortunately, my female (Ruby) thought the male (Max) was nice to have as a friend...but she doesn't like him in THAT way.  Maybe Max should try bringing flowers next time...girls ALWAYS like flowers...

The dogs are all "off"- they had the last of the "good" cheese and decided it was nap time.  Cabot extra sharp seems to be my Keeshond's favorite (along with Smartfood popcorn), but my husky Husky (she's a girl...Pretty Plus?) for a chunkaroo is pretty food fussy.  I have a human friend built like my dog and she's food fussy too...just fussy FOR the "wrong" stuff I guess.

We are down to one fish tank (from 3):  In order to properly address the neighbor's Foxhound (who keeps coming in our yard and better knock it the hell off!) the "baby" (my 120 pound Malamute) jumped into the windowsill, and in doing so cracked a tank...and the other, well, guppies come and guppies go....and I didn't get guppies again...

One 39 gallon tank in the living room has an 8" Pleco I call Archemedes.  Well, the daughter named it.  She likes "odd" names, so fairy tales, historical figures, and scientific names stick out for her.  Lest you think she's a prodigy, she also likes to name things after Nick JR cartoons...

As for me, I find all the pets soothing...my husband, not always.  The unfortunate thing is they ALL LOVE him...too much.  He has a 16 pound cat who whenever she can (read:  he lets her) sleeps on his chest.  The "baby" mauls him every day (she goes CRAZY for him and LOVES him up!).  Husband said something about "Ah, the two male dogs are Momma's dogs, too" and like the minions they are, the 7-pound Pom jumped in his lap and the Keeshond loved him up like he was a hunk of that Cabot Cheese.  They are good minions...

I'm torn somewhere twixt "modern" life (I enjoy all the fancy extras- I won't lie) and the "simple" life as I ENJOY family, de facto farm, watching chickens fly out of their coop into their run, playing with Spitz dogs in the snow, being on a first-name basis with the people at the feed store, and (ugh) poop-scooping.  It takes me outside of myself and allows me to experience life outside the cerebral hemispheres.  In a head where I think, think, think, my family (small but good) and my much larger pet family (even the chickens are pets.  They have names.  Their retirement plan is a life of scratch...even after they don't lay eggs) let me just be.  The dogs never care what color, shape, or style my hair is.  The rabbits don't give a shit what I'm wearing.  There is no pretense with a cat...

I failed to mention THEM...except for Oompie (husband's fat cat).  Perhaps I'll only touch on one other cat- Foo.  you can't do much more than that with Foo...

Foo owns us.  He is his own cat.  We have had Foo just about as long as we've had each other.  Husband didn't have a pet and I insisted he get one...we got more than we could have bargained for with Foo...

Years ago we lived in New York state, in a town that was tiny, far away from grocery stores and close to state land...trees, trees, and MORE trees.  Here in this pristine wilderness Foo Katt still managed to piss off the neighbors by beating up their "tough" German Shepherd.  He would disappear for days- we would assume coyotes or something had gotten the Foo...and he'd come home warm, smelling of hay, and well fed. 

Thinking that maybe someone was mistaking him for a stray, we put a collar on him, and still, from time to time, he'd come home warm, fat, and smelling of hay.  When we moved to New England we thought he'd mend his ways- after all, he's 12 now...no.  Collar and all he has still managed to find a way to mooch food...in the winter...somewhere where there's hay...and he's warm.

Foo was adopted by us after a woman returned him to the shelter for attacking her.  Apparently she fed her cats on the table while she ate supper...weird, but OK...and he supposedly attacked her.  Foo is half Siamese, with spindle legs and odd-shaped head, he's ornery alright (I'll get to that), but attack?  On the table?  With food!  Oh, he'll attack the FOOD but not the hand that feeds him while it's feeding...

He's our now.  We've let him be indoor/outdoor even though we've had our share of the New Age Vet crap about "Indoor cats live longer"...yeah, Bubble People do too, but you can't make babies blowing kisses.  Sometimes life is about calculated risks- we live on a 25 mile and hour road in a fairly quiet town.  We don't have town trash pick-up, in fact we don't have much in town other than the yearly fair.  He likes to be outside doing what Foo Katts do (whatever that is), so I could lock him inside these walls and make him stay...but he's a dude.  A carouser.  He'd spray all our stuff in protest.  Cat spray STINKS.  It wrecks stuff.  It's nasty.   Foo Katt goes where Foo Katt wants.  Period.


There is no "loving up" Foo...unless you are the daughter.  She gives him the child "belly lift" and carts him all over the yard.  He never mews.  He never fusses.  He never even sprays her stuff.  He is fed canned food outside.  He has fresh water.  He has a cat bed on the back porch.  He can come in when he wants.  Go out when he wants.  He is catered to and...and...AND YOU CAN'T LOVE FOO.  He'll eat you.

In the very least he'll give you a Band-Aid moment...

And I'm OK with that.  I coexist with the pets.  I don't mind breeds of dog that aren't Lassie.  That need to have the fridge's water/ice dispenser locked as they know how to get their OWN water (and ice to play with).  I've never trained them to not jump...not that I can't, or probably shouldn't, but our neighbor does his laundry here (we're nice, huh?) and the dogs "encourage" him to do what he needs to do and GO HOME.  They serve our needs as much as we do theirs.

Work?  You bet!  I do it all save for cat litter- I don't do cat litter.  And feeding the chickens- Meg does that.  But grooming, cleaning, hutches, tanks, vet trips, coops, picking up food, feeding, water...yeah, that's me!

Pet bitch???????????????????????

Lovely...

I Like Men...not in a sexy way either (I'm happily married to the best man in the world), but in the my own gender has let me down so often that I've come to realize that hanging out with and chatting with men is more often the more preferable thing to do.

Women seem to fall into two broad categories:  Chicks who, like myself, like to learn, grow, and see/do cool shit and then...there's...well, the Holy Trinity of Flakiness.

You know- Emotionally Charged, Unstable, and DUH.  EUD Syndrome.

If I chat with my husband's friends I am apt to learn many cool and unusual things.  The conversations are also very diverse:  They can be DIY, informative, transforming, insightful, and/or interestingly relevant to my existence in some way.

If I chat with some of my friends' friends...I'm going to have an hour of diaper rash, hair salons, and diet issues.  Not my friends' fault- even those without EUD have friends that do.

A man will read an article or posting and glean the relevant points- an EUD woman will "get" what appeals only to her "gut" and react...not that following one's heart is a BAD thing, but NEVER let your emotions over-rule your cognitions.

Hold up...wait...while transforming thought to text, it has just occurred to me that now that I think about it, some guys are very feminine (not in their sexuality or gender, but in regards to this), and I think guys too can suffer from EUD, but they're not Geeks or Nerds and generally I avoid people who aren't smart...I married my husband as he IS an uber-Geek.  Every day we have intelligent conversation, laugh, and smile...EUD women wonder why their husbands watch so much football, and the reason is that EUD chicks are really, really, REALLY boring to guys.  Sports are never on in our house...

So, let it be generally ASSUMED by MAN I mean non EUD- a Nerd or Geek (doer/thinker) not a Moron (sitter/stewer), and by WOMAN I will assign the proper categorical designation.

I was in a wedding yesterday (the only one besides my own), and my while my now married friend does not suffer from EUD, the other members of her bridal party do...so now I'm hip to all sorts of exciting things, and really, I'm all a-tingle...but they're SO exciting I want to keep them for myself.  I could tell you but...you wouldn't give a shit...don't feel bad, I don't either.

Some blogs have a lot of EUD action- especailly in the "New Age" or "Alternative" (not lifestyle, just ideas- and honestly that's a misnomer as they're pretty much group-thinkers) groups.  Again, while guys may have EUD, and many (Ok, MOST) Nerdy/Geeky guys lack some social skills (they can be taught, though), as Ron White said "You can't fix stupid."

Not that I should mind- I'll still journey where other NON-EUD chicks might be found.  THAT'S a "sisterhood"- a group of women who can actually conceptualize such things beyond OPI nail colors.  The EUD chicks, well, I guess they're a sisterhood too...there's enough of 'em.  And it really shouldn't affect how/where I post or do my thinking out loud (sometimes the frontal lobe NEEDS a vacation- really!)...the reason being as the wise T-shirt reads:


Amen.

I was a vegetarian for years.  I'm also an animal lover, ergo, I think that if we can live in a symbiotic relationship with cows to get milk, cheese, ice cream, etc. from dairy, sheep and goats for the same, and chickens for eggs, that's a true statement of humanity.  Maltreatment/Mistreatment of these symbiotic creatures should be a big no-no...beyond the Gandhi idea of "You can tell a culture by how it treats its animals", just think of the CRAP you ingest when the animals are abused.  Fear releases a cascade of hormones that can't be good, and secreted into food products I'm gonna bet over time they affect the consumers (people).

I was on the vegetarian community here on Live journal- they hasd some good recipes, and I liked reading all the stupid kids for whom telling their parents "I'm vegetarian" was like telling them "I got a couple piercings, decided I'm gay, and I'm on heroin."  Funny and harmless.  However lately the posts are more ridiculous and as a feminist (I'll own that- I respect men but I'm still all about equal rights for ALL Smurfettes) I couldn't handle a post put up by a woman with a 4 month old and a useless husband.

Apparently this woman has a 4 month old she's feeding exclusively with boob-food.  Her "lactation consultant" said the infant's colic was due to eating dairy and soy.  Woman posts this to the community asking what can she eat that's vegetarian, not dairy, and not soy.  Oh, and her husband can work a microwave but not a stove or (I assume) a freakin' take-out menu.

I posted that she should try gas drops, riding the kid around in a bouncy car, and getting that gas out.  I also said a pediatrician should be able to help her and not to assume what comes out of a lactation consultant's mouth is gospel.

Angry reply I got back was about how she went through a bottle of drops and her lactation consultant was CERTIFIED.

I have degrees in psychology and am working on making my career mental health.  However, I am also of the Peter Breggin school of treatment:  The instant she mentioned that... I knew it wasn't a case of how certified the boob-expert-lady was, but how CERTIFIABLE the mother was!

Years ago psychanalysis (especially Horney) would have called these people "neurotic", however, Freudian theory has fallen by the wayside and the new term is "issue."  All these people have ISSUES.

My ISSUE is that rather than say to herself "Shit, we have a problem here.  My breast milk isn't doing it for my kid, maybe I should take the child to a GI specialist to rule out GERD or digestive issues and to really find out what foods may improve my child's quality of life", she's listening to someone who plays with tatas for a living. 

In the olden days wet nurses would have taken over for a dry woman.  And they weren't eating Whole Foods certified organic food...and their generation lived LONGER (kids today are expected to have shorter life spans than their parents).  I think common sense has gone by the wayside.  There is a generation of foo-foo filled, ignorant as to the basic call of the inner self, dependent people, that woman can't experience a FART without a "gaseous emissions consultant" to ensure that the gas was well emitted and properly aligned with their inner onion.

Worse than the can't work her own boob-thing was that her husband can't COOK!  Fundamental thing, no?  What if she were sick?  What's the baby going to do?  What if baby was now 6 or 8?  Live on magnetron foods?  Oh, my.  I think the money spend on lactation consultant could have been better spent on cooking lessons for hubby (or at least cook books).

There is a dearth of common sense today.  Women don't know how to work their own bodies, everything and everyone wants a better title (Secretary is now "Administrative Assistant") with certification...what ever happened to the self as doer and being?

Ay, Chihuahua!

From time to time, as I am want to do, I was checking my Yahoo email.  For whatever reason- perhaps the email isn't enough- Yahoo posts the most INANE stories imaginable.  How to Ace a date and get in his/her pants, what Paris Hilton's underpants say about the homeless in Ceylon (that's Sri Lanka for the rest of us)- you know, quality stuff.  So I should have known better than bite on this one...but I did...

buzz.yahoo.com/buzzlog/92971

About the god damn Chupa Cabra- the baja "goat sucker."  The only sucker here is anyone who actually watches the CNN video...

It's a coy dog, coyote, or other MANGE infested canine who lost all of it's fur.  The "expert" taxidermist swears it's unlike any other animal he's seen.  I don't doubt that:  How many people want Fido mounted on the wall next to an 8-point or that beaver pelt you HAD to get at Cabela's?  I'll venture not many.

I'm NOT anti-cyrptozology and I'm certainly not anti-paranormal.  I've both seen ghosts AND a Coelecanth, so I think both are valid.  However, having grown up with wild dogs, having worked for many years as a veterinary technitian, and having been an avid animal lover/keeper of companion animals for many, many years, I'll never ceased to be amazed by bozos who can't tell a Mexican Hairless Canine when they see one.

Chalupa, si.  Chupacabra- no, no, Senor!

My daughter will be starting school this year...home school.  Why?  I used to be a high school English teacher (one year- that was plenty, thank you) and I had many friends who went into teaching...one is a HS Earth Science teacher.  I had to explain the theories of bird migratory patterns to her (post degree).  One's a HS English teacher...and I sat with her through HS English, and she wasn't a gold student...maybe pewter, and that's WITH tarnish.  Not to mention all the people I sat in class with...say it with me: ADVERB...They stupidly answered.  How'd they answer?  Stupidly.

I'm actually using a prepackaged course but writing my own syllabus (I think in grammar school it's a "lesson plan" but same thing).  There will be a whole lot of science in this year, and as she's hot on dinosaurs, maybe some cool field trips too.

Apple computer offers discounts to home educators.  Go to www.apple.com/education/shop/ and scroll down to home educator.  Lots of good deals.  I'm eschewing that this fall only as this is a get-dirty autumn.   Plenty of time for getting into the techie-biz in winter (and I may task her father with that as he's the Geek Guru).

I too will be returning to school- PT.  I've decided to go into nursing, and I'm going for an RN.  I was a vet tech for 7 years, I taught HS, I have a degree in Social Psychology, and one in Math...why?  Because the truly educated never stop learning.  That, and if it interests me, I must know about it.  I'm not content to twiddle my thumbs in happy stupidity...formal learning, informal (you should see the bedroom...we're bibliophiles!), just floating through the environment sucking up as much as I can.  That's me!  Well, I like to learn, and cocktail parties are fun...I can talk to anyone!  Or listen...

Nursing appeals to me as  like to help people, I'm calm in a medical emergency (I've saved my fair share of dying animals), the hours are GREAT, the pay is good, and I'll still be able to maintain the homestead.  And most importantly, I can keep my persnickity husband in clean towels :)

I've been out of circulation for the past 3 weeks with food poisoning- a gift from the a local hamburger joint.  No, not in the e coli infested meat (that was well done)...the GI specialist's best guess is that is was unwashed produce atop the burger that led to it.

Personally I think the butler did it.  Or maybe my kid...thought she'd inheret some Winnie-the-Pooh stuff and a stash of fruit snacks...

No, it was the HUSBAND!  He keeps telling me he wants me as a love slave.

Wrong drug, hun.  You want ROOFIES not Shagilla and C. Diff.  One makes me yours...the other makes me hemmoragge. 

All kidding aside, a week in the hospital and a few weeks on pain meds will alter your...um...consciousness.

40th Anniversary of Woodstock was a while back...with all those IV drugs, I'm hip...man.

Far Out!

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..................

I took the daughter to Friendly's today for breakfast.  While not the finest of dining experiences, it certainly is inexpensive, and the breakfast is good (how can you mess up eggs?).  However, today's trip was actually pretty cool as along with the bizarre hard-to-open kid's menu, my daughter received a place mat that came with a decoder key- essentially a piece of transparent red plastic that when held against the placemat made words "pop" (in this case "Beware the Chocolate Lava").

It made me think of all the cool kid stuff I had when I was younger.  Mostly out of the "gum ball" machines in stores (when things were- GASP!- a nickle or a dime) or out of cereal boxes (did ANY kid beg for cereal to EAT?  And were our parents dumb enough to think we WERE going to eat it?).  Holograms were hot in the 1980's- not stickers, just on cardboard.  Lots of spinners, wrap-around 3D glasses, movie cards, comic book characters, and the usual assortment of rings and such.

But, perhaps the COOLEST stuff was from McDonald's, Burger King, and Wendy's...

McDonald's had a "Boo Bucket"- Happy Meal in a trick-or-treat bucket.  They also had drinking glasses- Garfield, Mickey, Disney movies, and even (my fave!) Smurfs.

Burger King was always the place to get that snazzy paper crown.  They also had a bigger playscape than McDonald's, and when my father had me, he always let me go in the ball pit (Mom wouldn't eat at BK- Dad, being a guy, had no such restrictions).

Wendy's was "expensive" and "far", but, again, I could get Dad to go...to get all the Muppet Babies (cartoon on TV) stuffies (Oh, Kermie!) as well as Furkins (bear "cousins" to Cabbage Patch Dolls).

Ah, but now kids get weird stuff:  Littlest Pet Shop is at McDonald's, but it's tethered to a post.  You can BUY Coke glasses...uh, yeah, I can get those from the company (and Odd-Lot stores).  Burger King HAD cool stuff for a while (When the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were "hot" they had watches and even shirts), but now it's pretty blah.  And Wendy's is big on CD-ROMS...which don't entertain the 5 yr old much while riding in the back of the Blazer...

Ies, I snitch some stuff for ME. Cool stuff.  Hotel for Dogs stuffies @ McD's...MINE.  I snagged a critter from the Ice Age III promo now @ McD's.  The thing is I don't LIKE their food much, except for the fries (beef tallow and sugar...yum!), and my daughter always asks for the Apple Dippers...so it's a waste to go...except for a really cool toy as those gum-ball machines aren't what they used to be. 

50-cents out of a machine gets me fake tatoos?  I have real ones.  False teeth?  Christ, I'm so anal retentive about my grill my dentist (and the Crest company) LOVES me.  Sticky hands?  They leave grease marks on the paint on your walls (I know this!).  And the small dogs, cats, farm animals...all painted in China with lead paint...Suck on this!

Ah, for a big box of sugar-laden cereal with cool ADULT stuff!  Maybe a screaming-kid proof pair of ear plugs.  Nanny in a box.  A great deal with the Shredded Wheat- since you'll be in the bathroom after, complimentary house-cleaning and toilet bowl brush.  Of course, the "toys" in the boxes would be more, um, "colorful", too (which cereal would have the oscillating, tiger-headed joy buzzer?)...but then again, I don't want to wash Sugar Bombs off anything that's touching my nether-region!

Everyone is an expert on SOMETHING, and on all other matters she/he has an opinion.  Options are like assholes:  Everyone has one and they all stink.  Of course, some of us have impeccable hygiene (physical and mental) so as to not allow that fact to bother anyone else, and then there's Wikipedia.

Sure, Wiki is great if you want to know what something is, you're at work, and you don't want Joe in the cube behind you to see you surfing www.urbandictionary.com (of course at some places of work, it is de rigeur to have that link bookmarked).  However, it's written by people, people are "experts", and...well, the first paragraph was the intro to that.

Today I was Googling "Malamutes" and the Wiki entry came up.  While the factual history of the breed was sorta correct, and I like how the "Woo-ooo" of the mal was said to be "Chewbaka-like" (now that I think about it, my dog IS a Big Wooky), the author stated that Mals aren't good with kids or small animals. 

Having a B.S. is psychology and mathematics (double major- yeah, I'm insane) I know one can not extrapolate to the general population with a sample size of 1 (denoted as lower case n) as my dog may be the odd dog (well, we know that!) who doesn't "fit" an established pragmatism, ergo I decided to think of all the other mals I know/have met...

They all LOVE kids!  The breeder we obtained Pumpkin from had 5 kids...all the dogs (even whelping Moms and stud Dads) were great with the kids.  My daughter is a dog lover/hugger/kisser/yeller ("Leave my food/toys/stuff alone!").  The 7 pound Pom beats up the Mal (she has learned to fight for herself- atta girl!).  She thinks cats are "babies" and grooms them (cat mohawk a la dog slobber).  My husband gets the "dog of love" dance every day (she thinks he's the bees knees).  Rabbits, especially mine, beat up cats and dogs.  When our Siamese cat had a seizure, Pumpkin freaked out, vocalized like crazy, and tried to lick the cat/groom the cat/help the cat.

So...Wiki, what's up with the entry?  I'm gonna have to give you a big PBTH! and BAD DOG!  for that one.  Mals are big, lovable dogs who run around like maniacs, want constant attention (and get it), are ALL about the tummy-yummies, think kids ROCK, and keep me from going INSANE during these new England winters. 

Do I think everyone should get one?  No.  First of all they're a LOT of work- I have 4 poofy dogs and I'm a de facto full-time groomer.  I've killed I don't know HOW many vacuums in 10 years sucking up fur.  Secondly, you have to be able to live with a willful animal:  I'm married, have a 5 year old, and Native American...I have a long history of easily dealing with "wilful" (anyone with a spouse knows that...as do Moms/Dads of small children...and well, the image of the Indian refusing to budge is a stereo-type of no little merit).  This dog will NOT always jump for you!  And thirdly, if everyone DID own one, would the sight of 120 pounds of wolf-like creature (so NOT a Wolf but looks like one!) who should be named "Fang" walking down a country road be as cool?  Me thinks not.